Breaking up with 2016

THANK GOD.

Is it just me, or did 2016 kind of suck? I know it’s not just me. I’ve read your Facebook posts, I’ve seen everyone’s relatable memes and tweets. 2016 was ROUGH.

I think some part of me knew 2016 was going to be one hell of a ride because this is what I wrote in 2015 about the upcoming year:

“So, I’ll leave you with this: I’m not going to say, “Let’s kick 2016’s ass!” I’m going to say, let’s pretend that 2016 is a really long elevator ride with 365 stops on the way to the top. I want to get off at every stop with a positive attitude and the knowledge that even if this one turns out to be shitty, there are plenty more ahead.”

GUYS, I tried. It’s hard to get off at every shitty stop and keep a positive attitude! I read that and think – WOW Mason solid piece of advice, you are so wise! But sometimes preaching is easier than practicing. TBH I’m glad I didn’t say “Let’s kick 2016’s ass!” because it definitely kicked mine.

lesliefall

I know talking about problems and sadness makes people uncomfortable. I’m supposed to suck it up, keep going, act strong and hard, ignore the pain, don’t talk about your problems, because “you’re still so young” and “it could always be worse”… and I get it. I am young and it really could be worse. But 2016 was a year of loss and serious life transitions. Sometimes you just need to mourn for a little bit, okay?!

If you’ve read any of my previous blog posts you can probably gather that I quit my job at the bank to intern, graduated college, moved out of my sweet little apartment, moved back home to live with my grandmother, broke up with my boyfriend of three years, got my car stolen, landed a job, hated the job, quit the job, and a lot of BS in between = all ensuing stupid amounts of pain.

Even this holiday weekend wasn’t the same. I’ve spent the last three years with my family AND my second family. I had gotten used to split Christmas time with everyone’s funny gifts and holiday traditions. The cookie decorating, hugs and laughs, family stories, and Christmas breakfast. The comfort of spending the holiday with TWO families who loved me! Then… POOF! It’s gone. I know next year will be better, but this year was hard. (sorry for talking about it, I know I’m supposed to be strong over here.) My family is amazing and the holidays with them will always be special to me, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t sad.

I do want to pat myself on the back for one thing… I did not let myself wallow in this pain all year. I let the pain happen, and then I let it pass. I’m not going to say I never cried or prayed for something to change or gabbed to my gal pals about it, but I didn’t let this pain keep me down. For this, I am proud. I definitely could’ve been more dramatic about a lot of these situations. Honestly… I was more openly dramatic about losing my thumbnail than I was about any of the aforementioned. — yes, I lost a thumbnail this year too!!! DAMN YOU, 2016!

crying

BUT this is the last time you’ll hear me talk about any of the S#!T that happened to me in 2016 (except maybe my thumbnail because I’m still not over it). Yeah, I know you’re probably so disappointed. But I have to let it all go. I can’t change anything that has happened, I can only hope for better in the future. That time, forgiveness, and new memories will heal my heart where it’s been hurt.

Before I breakup with 2016…

Let’s talk about a few of the highlights! I want to leave you on a positive note.

I graduated college on the Dean’s Honor Roll, I’ve built a few really strong relationships with people who I’m proud to call friends, I had the balls to quit a crappy job… then got the job I never knew I wanted and have now become an uncertified Junior Hemorrhoid Specialist (this is a story for another day), I’ve traveled more this year than I have in my entire life, I’m on a badass team of ladies who are building this super cool women’s conference in OKC called Confidence Con, and really… I’ve just learned a lot about myself. A lot that I think I needed to learn. Stuff that only pain can show a person, ya know? I’m not perfect and I have my share of flaws, but Mason’s got a lot more going on than I sometimes give her credit for.

mental-five

So in 2017, don’t read my blog expecting to hear juicy dirt. I’m not even openly sharing my goals for 2017 with you this year. If they happen though, you’ll definitely know about it. Thank you to everyone who gave me memories in 2016. Not every piece was bad. Don’t worry, I didn’t forget about the good times. I had good days, loud laughs, long road trips, fun nights, new experiences, small victories, and big victories.

I know technically we were supposed to have a few more days together but… we’re done, 2016.

It’s not me, it’s you.

peggy

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