“It’s for the best”

I’ve heard a lot of this lately.

That’s such a generic saying, amirite? When something shitty happens or when life let’s us down, our best friends and our family stand around us with boxes of tissues or words of encouragement that are supposed to ease the pains of disappointment and make us feel better.

You nod your head and say, “I know… you’re right,” and maybe you do know it’s true, but even if you know this horrible or disgusting thing happened to you for a reason, that doesn’t take away the shock or the sting of the initial slap in the face.

Sometimes it’s embarrassing. Sometimes you’re the one at fault. Sometime’s it means your whole life is about to change. It’s hard to adjust to change, especially when its forced upon us.

I’ve been so hesitant to pack up my apartment. Not because it’s overwhelmed with cluttery objects or a lot of bulky furniture, but because it’s overwhelmed with all of the memories made here. I’m leaving this piece of my life behind and it’s become very apparent that very little of it is moving forward with me. Some of it by choice, some by happenstance, some by surprise. I just really feel like my whole life is being turned upside down at once and I’m trying to scramble around to hold at least a few of the pieces together so I don’t lose my mind. It’s like I’m holding my heart and my brain on two separate spinning plates, riding a unicycle trying not to drop either of them. Its hectic, stressful, maybe even a little bit physically painful and nearly impossible.

So yes, I’m not having a great day. I feel pretty torn inside. Why do we feel most inspired to write when we are sad? Here’s the thing, the follow up to “It’s for the best” is another one of my favorite friend assured statements — “it gets better.” 

And I truly believe that it does. I think karma is a thing, and I think that people get what they put into the world. If you do negative things, negative things will find you. If you do positive things, positive things will find you. I know this to be true from both angles.

So, I’m comforting myself with the knowledge that I’m about to embark on my first post-college summer, I’m in a city surrounded by people who love me, I’m lucky to have landed a job PRE-graduation, I’m in my twenties, I’m healthy, I can afford to eat at restaurants other than Taco Bell, I’m taken care of, I have a really solid group of friends who I care about so much, a growing professional wardrobe, I’m basically in my prime…just saying. If this is what low feels like, I know that everything can only go up from here. So I guess “it’s for the best” and “it gets better” may seem generic, but maybe there’s a reason behind these sayings after all.

Great people do shitty things, but shitty people rarely do great things.

^That’s what’s in my jar.

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